So so sorry for the delay everyone! It was a busy weekend, and I let the kiddo take over the computer for most of the day today. She was playing video games and watched FRED. If you've seen FRED, you'll understand why I would have rather her play video games (even as strict as I am about those). Let's just say that I'm pretty sure FRED plays on loop in HELL. Best mind your p's and q's so not to risk that eternal torment.
Anyway, on to better things! We have a winner!!! YAY!
Congratulations Alissa, and thank you for entering!
Anyway, on to better things! We have a winner!!! YAY!
From Rebekah:
Thanks to the few (but valiant!) who played along with this week's sweet (but gritty!) contest. I always love seeing how writers take the same set of words and fashion them into completely different worlds and characters. You each (including our lovely but ineligible host) put your own marvelously creative spin on the words, making judging fun! But alas, only one can win, so this week's pick is--
Lissajean, @lissajean7. Dialogue's a tough component to master, so the characters sound real and their unique personalities clear. Not only did you accomplish both of these--and accomplish them well--but you managed to craft an entire story out of dialogue alone. The voices are strong and the tension between Sylvia and Billy almost palpable, as is the development of their characters across the scene. Really well done!
Alissa's entry:
“It’s simple, really, you just have to--”
“Don’t patronize me!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean--”
“Stop! Just stop. I don’t need some saccharine apology that--”
“Now that’s not fair! Not everyone who apologizes is lying! Just because--”
“Don’t. Don’t even say it. Don’t bring him up.”
“You brought him into the conversation first.”
“I did not! I don’t ever want to talk about him again!”
“Then stop comparing me with him and assuming his intentions behind my words! He didn’t just kick you to the curb, he rubbed your face in the asphalt and scattered your stuff in the street. I get that. Well, no, I really don’t, but this is never going to work if you can’t learn to trust me that I don’t have your worst in mind every time I open my mouth. God, Sylvia, I’m walking on eggshells here and I’m breaking them at every step and they’re cutting my feet…I don’t know if I want to keep walking. You are smart and funny and beautiful. We have the same favorite book and you have the best serve I’ve ever seen not on tv, but…I don’t know if you’re ready for this.”
“Billy, please…just…just give me time. You’re right. I’m damaged goods, but--”
“You’re not damaged, Syl, you’re hurting. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t let him do that to you. You’re free now. Just keep moving forward one step at a time.”
“But you don’t want to walk with me anymore!”
“No! I didn’t mean it like that. I just…Maybe making it official was a little too soon. I’m your friend. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not giving up on you. You’re worth it. Believe it.”
“Thank you. You’re so good to me. I’m sorry. I’d like to – Can we keep trying? I can’t promise I’ll be better, but maybe with your help--”
“Sure, Sweetie, I didn’t want to end it. I just want what’s best for you.”
“You’re best for me…. Now, about this toilet…”
“The plunger’s just off…”
“Don’t patronize me!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean--”
“Stop! Just stop. I don’t need some saccharine apology that--”
“Now that’s not fair! Not everyone who apologizes is lying! Just because--”
“Don’t. Don’t even say it. Don’t bring him up.”
“You brought him into the conversation first.”
“I did not! I don’t ever want to talk about him again!”
“Then stop comparing me with him and assuming his intentions behind my words! He didn’t just kick you to the curb, he rubbed your face in the asphalt and scattered your stuff in the street. I get that. Well, no, I really don’t, but this is never going to work if you can’t learn to trust me that I don’t have your worst in mind every time I open my mouth. God, Sylvia, I’m walking on eggshells here and I’m breaking them at every step and they’re cutting my feet…I don’t know if I want to keep walking. You are smart and funny and beautiful. We have the same favorite book and you have the best serve I’ve ever seen not on tv, but…I don’t know if you’re ready for this.”
“Billy, please…just…just give me time. You’re right. I’m damaged goods, but--”
“You’re not damaged, Syl, you’re hurting. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Don’t let him do that to you. You’re free now. Just keep moving forward one step at a time.”
“But you don’t want to walk with me anymore!”
“No! I didn’t mean it like that. I just…Maybe making it official was a little too soon. I’m your friend. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not giving up on you. You’re worth it. Believe it.”
“Thank you. You’re so good to me. I’m sorry. I’d like to – Can we keep trying? I can’t promise I’ll be better, but maybe with your help--”
“Sure, Sweetie, I didn’t want to end it. I just want what’s best for you.”
“You’re best for me…. Now, about this toilet…”
“The plunger’s just off…”
Congratulations Alissa, and thank you for entering!
You'll get to pick the three word prompt for next week's challenge (or switch it up with a picture), AND be the judge! Please send me an email so I can send you the next four "get to know the judges" questions. :-)
Email: emailjessarusso [at] gmail [dot] com
BIG thanks to this week's judge, Rebekah Postupak!!
Congrats on the win, Alissa! Someday, I will have myself organized enough to enter Flash Factory Friday. In the mean time, I really enjoy reading the other entries. Keep up the good work, everyone!
ReplyDeleteThank you Laura! You should enter. One of the things I'm finding I like about flash fiction is how fast it is. It's a nice break. I'm writing a novel right now and I've found flash fiction to be a nice way to give me some excitement and momentum in writing by finishing something. It will probably be another couple of months before the novel is finished, but I can rejoice every week in completing something!
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to be organized, just write! :) I'm glad you enjoy reading them! It's pretty fun writing them too! (I love reading them as well! I feel so honored that someone would pick mine over the other amazing stories made by very talented writers!)
Oh, and thank you, Rebekah! I am so honored by your words. Thank you for the encouragement they are to me!
ReplyDelete