tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post8436516812753912673..comments2023-11-03T02:19:41.142-07:00Comments on Jessa Russo: #PitchMAS Twitter Pitch Honing WorkshopJessa Russo http://www.blogger.com/profile/07061996967428020722noreply@blogger.comBlogger262125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-66573806961103385032013-12-19T16:25:43.560-08:002013-12-19T16:25:43.560-08:00Cursed by an evil witch and cast into the real wor...Cursed by an evil witch and cast into the real world, Elyse must get her memory back to save Ever After from from destruction. #Pitchmas UFAlexaNighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14878358214362582506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-37765604276465225702013-12-19T16:24:33.307-08:002013-12-19T16:24:33.307-08:00Cursed by an evil witch and cast into the real wor...Cursed by an evil witch and cast into the real world, Elyse must get her memory back to save Ever After from from destruction. #Pitchmas UF<br /><br />This one kinda makes me all happy inside for 139 characters.AlexaNighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14878358214362582506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-74912006826194800222013-12-19T12:29:35.462-08:002013-12-19T12:29:35.462-08:00In that case, go with what she said, although if i...In that case, go with what she said, although if it made any difference marketing-wise I suppose you could use either.<br />I think I personally prefer 'reincarnated', but if you struggle for space then 'reborn' would do. Get a few more opinions from CPs/whoever you can talk to between now and tomorrow if you can :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-15501023266239272182013-12-19T12:22:53.315-08:002013-12-19T12:22:53.315-08:00Okay, so I need to work on vagueness. Now to impro...Okay, so I need to work on vagueness. Now to improve that without sacrificing said phrasing. *curses 140 characters* ;)<br /><br />This any better?<br />A prestigious position can amend 16yrs of enmity. But when love questions rational action, Drina’s mother pulls the trigger.<br /><br />Thank you, lovely and generous people!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-19344943831295759072013-12-19T10:38:25.539-08:002013-12-19T10:38:25.539-08:00Moon's daughter. Demon charmer. Two sisters wi...Moon's daughter. Demon charmer. Two sisters will lose each other unless Kin risks revealing her true self to the boy she loves.YA #pitchmas Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13659874919389800615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-83110891846678632712013-12-19T09:54:05.192-08:002013-12-19T09:54:05.192-08:00Literary Dystopian Iz cheats on his wife, but also...Literary Dystopian Iz cheats on his wife, but also helps her bring down corrupt religious regime that rules U.S. from 2065-2089. #PitchmasKathleenKernhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17222375615838493713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-18517167283182466452013-12-19T09:41:44.879-08:002013-12-19T09:41:44.879-08:00I was playing around with a previous pitch and cam...I was playing around with a previous pitch and came up with this. Is it too vague? <br /><br />Banned from Heaven for who she is. Wanted by Hell for what she can do. An ancient plot makes her a danger to both. Nat Neaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05930034798293905087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-32694798360478763682013-12-19T09:38:41.764-08:002013-12-19T09:38:41.764-08:00I like that much better Heather! You don't hav...I like that much better Heather! You don't have to have clarinetist in there and could say the girl or woman if you wantedNat Neaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05930034798293905087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-19289032595147957362013-12-19T09:10:17.146-08:002013-12-19T09:10:17.146-08:00Alright, if anyone is still around, what do you th...Alright, if anyone is still around, what do you think of these:<br /><br />Addisyn, a newly deceased human turned Angel-tries to save others just like her from the Fallen, against orders not to. #pitchmas YA PN/UF<br /><br />Addi found out she's been lied to by her angelic family-so she took matters into her own hands&tipped the scale btwn good&evil #Pitchmas YA PN/UF Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13618051957785105056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-54709967885724240752013-12-19T07:11:56.944-08:002013-12-19T07:11:56.944-08:00Yes, it should! Thanks for catching that :)Yes, it should! Thanks for catching that :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15001511405392095658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-47200273914787718542013-12-19T07:10:15.313-08:002013-12-19T07:10:15.313-08:00I think I'll go with these two. What do you gu...I think I'll go with these two. What do you guys think?<br /><br />Katya never speaks of how she survive Stalin's famine. Now, her great granddaughter is haunted by memories she couldn’t possibly know. A #pitchmas<br /><br /><br />Summer doesn’t understand why she’s remembering her dead great aunt’s life, until her great grandmother shares the horrors she survived during Stalin’s famine. A #pitchmas<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15001511405392095658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-59966683778108543442013-12-19T07:03:01.026-08:002013-12-19T07:03:01.026-08:00Yes, it should. Thanks for catching that! Late nig...Yes, it should. Thanks for catching that! Late night inadvertent word switches. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15001511405392095658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-12341545705032625402013-12-19T05:49:11.145-08:002013-12-19T05:49:11.145-08:00The "get creative" is too vague. Give me...The "get creative" is too vague. Give me an example or something more concrete.<br /><br />Maybe something like:<br /><br />When Santa gets stuck in a hot tub on Xmas Eve, his friends (or his elves) must find creative ways to pry him out in time to deliver gifts. <br /><br />OR - not sure exactly what book is about, but try this: <br /><br />When Santa gets stuck in a hot tub on Xmas Eve, his elves use their toy making skills to pry him out in time to deliver gifts. (not sure of the character count on this)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16057140354020979970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-11192454730022160272013-12-18T21:52:06.287-08:002013-12-18T21:52:06.287-08:00You're welcome! I am seeing...that if Jess is ...You're welcome! I am seeing...that if Jess is caught she will return to slavery but her goal is to control her masters mind an become free forever? Is that right?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-82609708863768166992013-12-18T21:24:08.717-08:002013-12-18T21:24:08.717-08:00Thanks! Do you think it spells out clearly what...Thanks! Do you think it spells out clearly what's at stake?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-3064161454245078442013-12-18T21:18:15.063-08:002013-12-18T21:18:15.063-08:00This is very tight and concise. I thought about it...This is very tight and concise. I thought about it for a good fifteen minutes and wrote five alternate ways to write this, but I couldn't improve on it. Good luck and good pitch!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-51947454481977943232013-12-18T21:10:18.351-08:002013-12-18T21:10:18.351-08:00I agree. This doesn't tell me what's at st...I agree. This doesn't tell me what's at stake. Why is relying on a witch's foreign magic risky? Why isn't that the first solution Mal reaches for? What are the consequences for relying on foreign magic?<br /><br />Also, try changing up the order. I think starting with "When new evil rises, Mal relies on…" since that is the meat of the story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-81175224163393673072013-12-18T21:10:01.089-08:002013-12-18T21:10:01.089-08:00Not my writing genre...but I wanted to say it soun...Not my writing genre...but I wanted to say it sounds really interesting! I'd read it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-91416517439360537592013-12-18T21:09:02.535-08:002013-12-18T21:09:02.535-08:00Not my writing genre...but I wanted to say it soun...Not my writing genre...but I wanted to say it sounds really interesting! I'd read it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-87016456288830635812013-12-18T21:02:07.613-08:002013-12-18T21:02:07.613-08:00YA Steampunk In a city of total anarchy, runaway s...YA Steampunk In a city of total anarchy, runaway slave Jess tries to stay a step ahead of her master by learning to control minds #PitchMASAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-37436179810702749642013-12-18T20:44:33.539-08:002013-12-18T20:44:33.539-08:00I agree yes...THE AFTER BEDTIME PARENT PARTY! I agree yes...THE AFTER BEDTIME PARENT PARTY! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-78273924865126013372013-12-18T20:42:52.850-08:002013-12-18T20:42:52.850-08:00Thanks C.C.! Does this work?
When Santa gets stuc...Thanks C.C.! Does this work?<br /><br />When Santa gets stuck in a hot tub on Christmas Eve, his friends will have to get creative or else it will be too late to deliver presents. #Pitchmas PBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-77014773852744422652013-12-18T20:41:07.756-08:002013-12-18T20:41:07.756-08:00I love the way you phrase your pitches. Keep that....I love the way you phrase your pitches. Keep that. It's witty and clever and interesting. <br /><br />The problem is that you're not telling me anything about your story. <br /><br />Who is Drina? Why do we care about her, her mother, and the love interest? Why if she chooses fame she loses love or vice versa? Are the stakes that she'll lose love, or is there more to it than that? <br /><br />Hope that helps!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16057140354020979970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-61600373011309810932013-12-18T20:37:02.770-08:002013-12-18T20:37:02.770-08:00This sounds so COOL! I want to join...
But, shoul...This sounds so COOL! I want to join...<br /><br />But, shouldn't it be THE AFTER BEDTIME PARENT PARTY!?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16057140354020979970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8767314432489461787.post-91152438587884331532013-12-18T20:35:52.116-08:002013-12-18T20:35:52.116-08:00What about this:
When Santa gets stuck in a hot ...What about this: <br /><br />When Santa gets stuck in a hot tub on Christmas Eve, his friends will have to [do what?] or else [this other thing happens]. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16057140354020979970noreply@blogger.com